Dear Friends,
I write to you in the strictest of confidence, for I do not think that there is anyone else who will take me seriously. I fear that I have begun the process of marination (better known as ageing), several years too soon. I cannot confess this to anyone else but you. However, I assure you that this is a genuine affliction and not a moment of intense hypochondria. I entrust this most worrying of afflictions for your eyes only and believe that your discretion would be fabulous.
Kindest regards,
*
Hello, hello, hello.
Today I write to you full of grave concern for my personal welfare. I fear I am getting old- which, let's be honest, isn't really a fear but a fact. Life is linear, meaning we cannot deduct age. Although, scientific advancement means that by the time we're 70, we can look as though we're 37... Now I'm not going to lie, but I'm sure that by the time I'm 70 I won't want to look about 37, because that would be weird. I mean, if my (potential) marriage (one-day) were to fail and I were to end up back on the market, it would just be very very odd if a man of 37 approached me, totally unaware that I was 70!
So you see, I am aware that I'm always ageing and that that is an irrefutable fact. It's just the whole process that I'm slightly concerned about. You see, yesterday I went on a trip to London with my friend Sophie. It wasn't a particularly entertaining trip (but don't tell Sophie I told you this, because it was actually a roadshow for florists and she is is a florist). Much of the day was spent sitting down and this is where the concern first begins.
We sat down in the car to drive to the train station.
We sat down on the train to the roadshow venue.
We sat down on the tube on the way to the roadshow venue.
We sat down at the roadshow and listened (or pretended to) for two hours.
We sat down when we arrived at a restaurant for dinner after the roadshow.
We sat down on the tube back to the train station.
We sat down on the train back to the car.
We sat down in the car on the way home.
I then went to sleep.
So, all in all, not a very active day. Though, much of the day was broken up by little bouts of walking to get us between location A and to location B. But for some reason, I was exhausted. Who knew that listening and sitting could be so tiring? I most certainly didn't. And now I'm paying for it dearly.
Foolishly I agreed to take Gma (that's Grandma) to Church at silly o'clock in the morning. With hindsight, I should not have done. This decision was magnanimous and had several repercussions. Remembering that last night was of course Eurovision, I had to fight the extreme fatigue my body was undergoing and watch a bizarre concoction of Europeans cavorting on stage in the name of national pride. Like many Briton's, I was immensely relieved that we were not in last place. Phew! Bring on next year Mr Norton and I'll be ready.
But back to Church. The vic chatted and did his bit as I went through the motions of sitting and standing and sitting and standing, a bit more sitting, then a bit more standing and then lastly, sitting again. Why it can't just be on one level puzzles me, but I just copied the masses and got on with it. But by the end of the hour I was drained. I was literally clinging onto the pew in front to lever me off the seat. And then there's Gma sat next to me, springing up like a jack-in-a-box every so often, highlighting to me how old I'm getting. Not good.
After Church, I went to lunch with Gma where we indulged in the ol' Sunday Roast and pudding. Afterwards, I was TTT- which, to those of you who don't know, stands for 'Tummy Touching Table'. I was absolutely full-up and ever so slightly sleepy.
When I returned Gma to her house, I went for a nice long walk in the afternoon. I stumbled across one of those school race-track's that are painted onto the grass and always transfer onto your shoes. Wanting to prove to myself that I still had the ability to run, I did the 100m sprint and felt mighty fine. Or at least I felt mighty fine when I was trotting along.
It was just after that I didn't feel so fine as my legs turned to jelly. And it's been such a while since I last went running that I can't remember if that is normal, or if that means I'm getting old.
Dear friends, I think you'll agree I need to slow down the pace of life. Or do I?
Am I actually getting old? Or am I just darn tired?
I think perhaps, I am in need of a nice long sleep. After, I'll be able to tell you if this blog was born of tiredness or actual ageing.
Anyway, onto A.O.B. (any other business).
- Yesterday, on our trip, Sophie and I met a fabulous pair of people called Heather and Eddie. Strictly speaking, they weren't in the floristry business, but they were very nice and made us smile. So I'd just like to say to them- if they're reading, I hope that your venture goes well.
- Yesterday, it was reinforced to me that you should watch Eurovision with low expectations, so then wherever the UK finishes can only ever be a win.
- Yesterday, I met a lady called Laura who was wearing the most fabulous hat I have ever seen in real life on any living person's head. So, I commend your hat wearing panache and hope to one day be able to follow in your hat wearing footsteps!
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