Introducing... Miss Mildred The Decorating- Builder

Hello everyone,

I am writing to you in the hope that you are well.

I am also writing to you with what I would describe as 'rather good news', as I have now found some employment.

Following my employing (as it were)- of Dave in Edinburgh, he has decided to return the favour and employ me. You see, by day, Dave is a builder/ renovator/ property maestro extraordinaire. By night, he is just Dave now. But he used to be my co-director and all round general assistant for Edinburgh.

Anyway, I am now in the employment of Dave at the house that he is renovating, in the capacity of 'decorating-builder'.

So far, I have clearance for the following (meaning I am now qualified in):

• electric drill usage
• regular drill usage
• hammer usage (despite missing the nail four times in a row and denting the wall...)
• electric sandpaper-tool-thingy (despite accidentally sanding myself...)
• the art of the paint brush
• the art of the roller
• ladder climbing (despite knocking the paint pot off with my foot on my descent. Luckily the lid was on. Dave does not know... Dave doesn't need to know... sshhhh!)
• filling holes with filler
• various other cool sounding things... but unfortunately I have forgotten what they are. What I can remember though, is that the insurance didn't cover me for saw usage. And to be honest, that's a bit of a relief as I'm really quite fond of all ten of my fingers.

To my general surprise, I am actually quite enjoying working on 'the site'- as 'the lads' call it, because there are no other women around. I left today, covered in dust and looking as though I'd aged forty years in an afternoon. But I don't mind. It's like dressing up! Except, not quite as clean. Although, I find it extraordinary how one minute I can look so old and grey and withered, and the next- with a little bit of nature's assistance- their finest water no less, I can wash away the grey and voila! Twenty-something Mildred is back in an instant. If only life were that simple.

Anyway, I'm going to go and wash the dust, spiders and goodness only knows what else out of my hair. Hopefully, next time I write to you I'll still have the correct amount of fingers and thumbs. But for now, my digits and I bid you farewell.

Welcome back to sunny ol' England...

Hello there friends,

Just a quick blog today I'm afraid! I hope that you are all well and staying warm in this ridiculously unprecedented monsoon that we are experiencing. To be honest, it wasn't a particularly nice 'welcome home to England' present- not after all the glorious sunshine over in Bulgaria.

After touching down at the airport, Mum came to meet me. We chit-chatted and caught up. You know, she filled me in on all the gossip that was happening back home. For instance. Did you know that Valerie, who lives three doors down from us, managed to jump the queue for knee replacement surgery? No? I didn't either. Apparantly she flashed the surgoen some ankle without being requested to and at that point- he became anybodies. Unable to act on his ankle attraction because of professional purposes, the surgeon decided to pop Valerie to the top of the list. Talk about a bit of juicy gossip! I mean, what else could I have possibly missed?

Anyway, I asked Mum if she could see my tan. After much deliberation, she smiled at me and gently patted my arm as she declared that I 'looked well'.

I took that to mean no, she could not see my tan. But in fairness, it is fairly hard to make out... But Mum could have done the honorable thing and LIED! I wouldn't have minded.

But all in all, I had a rather lovely time in Bulgaria. And, I even got to sample the elusive Shopska salad and Bob soup! Both- you will be pleased to know, were rather yummy.

I did loads of different things including venturing into the mountains, attempting to speak Bulgarian very badly (and often failing miserably), swim in the jelly fish infested sea, swim in the hotel pool and read the entire autobiography of Julie Andrews from start to finish. What a truly exemplary lady she is! I now feel inspired to find a copy of Mary Poppins and The Sound of Music and watch them from start to finish more than once. (Recently I have already watched The Princess Diaries 1 and 2 and Shrek- all of which Julie stars in as a Queen, but I probably shouldn't let you know that I know this because they are- technically speaking, films for the younger generation. Know how I know that? Because they are all PG and U ratings...).

Anyway, I must fly (metaphorically). I hope to be in touch again soon.

With bestest wishes,
Mildred