WANTED: New members to join the Day-Dreamer's Association

Hello lovely readers,

Today I am making an appeal for new members to join the 'Day-Dreamer's Association'. Our current membership is small; at the moment it stands at, well... just 1... and that is me. I am in the process of inducting Dave into the association, but he says he 'needs more time to think about it', which- in my opinion, makes him a perfect candidate.

If you are interested in finding out what qualities are involved to be a member, as well as general information, read on!

Qualities we look for:

• The ability to be able to create a convincing look that says I AM INTERESTED, when someone is talking to you about something really boring like... quantum physics. If they don't notice that you have 'switched off' (as it were) and moved onto sunnier climes with wonderful thoughts of anything and everything but what is being discussed, then you have what we're looking for.
• If you frequently use sentences that begin: 'Imagine IF...' / 'IF I were...' / 'IF only we could...' / 'What do you think would happen IF...' et cetera, then join the club! Any self-respecting day-dreamer will live in a world that's better, as they've created it. For example, yesterday I said to Dave: "What do you think would happen if there suddenly became holes in gravity and people started floating off? Do you think they'd be able to get back when they found a place where gravity hadn't defected? I suppose they'd probably come whooshing back down, but do you think they'd land with a controlled descent, worthy of the Olympic gymnast? Or do you think they'd land with a bit of an ungraceful thud? What do you think Dave?" 

          He turned around and said (after clearing his throat): "Mildred, I am not going to dignify that question with an answer," to which I countered, "but what if it really happened Dave? What then?" He raised his eyebrows and said that he didn't think this would happen in our lifetime, so I wasn't to worry about it anymore. I looked at him and silently willed him to read my mind: 'that didn't answer the question! Honestly Dave, you're failing in your boyfriendly duties now, as you should really be humouring me.' He just looked at me blankly. Apparently we're not telepathic after all... 

           But if you found yourself reading this and considering what would actually happen if gravity started to (invisibly) resemble mouse cheese (the one that's filled with holes), then you've definitely got what it takes to be a world-class day-dreamer.

• This next quality is very easily achieved by a well-practised day-dreamer. If you often find yourself asking the question: 'Where did all the time go?' (complete with quizzical facial expression), then you are an ideal member of this fabulous group. This sort-of person will often decide to do something as simple as... sitting down for 5 minutes with a cup of tea/ coffee/ other hot beverage. Thirty-seven minutes later, they consult their watch and wonder, 'where did all the time go?' 

          Believe me, this is very easy to do and actually, something Dave is guilty of doing ALL THE TIME! He'll say; "I'm just popping to the shop for some milk/ bread/ potatoes [delete as applicable]. I'll be back in 10 minutes." One hour later he finally returns home with whatever it was he went out for, complete with an explanation (often unnecessarily detailed) about why he's taken so long. 

• Our penultimate quality is one that many people have mastered, though they don't often realise that they are in actual fact day-dreaming. This is simply when they are at work and appear to be doing their work, when actually they are planning this evening's dinner/ what to wear on that date tomorrow night/ what to buy their friend for their birthday which was actually yesterday. 

• Lastly, our final day-dreamer is one who may not indulge in the dreaming-of-the-days that often, except when travelling alone. They have a unique ability to be able to 'FILL IN THE BLANKS' of the lives of their fellow travellers. For example, the couple sat across the aisle from you may look like they have only just met, but don't be fooled! They've actually been together for several years and he's just gently told her that her lipstick's smudged onto her cheek, to which she's turned to him and asked why it is he's always criticising her? You know this, because she does in actual fact have a great big lipstick smudge on her face. But nobody has told you anything: all of this you have deduced with your day-dreaming expertise.

So, to make it easier for you to see if you fall into one or more of the above, I have created a list (in order), summarising the above with the type of day-dreamer that you are.

1. Convincing-day-dreamer
2. Hypothetical-day-dreamer
3. Magical-day-dreamer
4. Auto-pilot-day-dreamer
5. Intense-thinker-day-dreamer

If you think that this all sounds a little too familiar, then join today!
If you see one or more of these qualities in yourself, then join today!
If you have read this and thought, 'that's so Martyn!' (or whoever you know that's reminded you of them), then recommend this group to them and encourage them to join today!

Membership is free. Plus- as an additional bonus, they'll be no excessively long newsletters sent, no meetings to attend and definitely no day-dreaming progress reports to submit.

Until next time, I wish you all well in your day-dreaming endeavours.

Mildred
Chairwoman (and sole member) of the Day-Dreamer's Association