My 50th Post Celebration! The second and final part*

* Or, as an alternative title, Post Number 51! Hmmm, doesn't quite have the same ring to it, so we'll stick with My 50th Post Celebration! The second and final part.


Hello to you, wherever you may be in the world! Currently I am writing to you from the UK, from my house, from my lounge where I am draped in scarves and poncho's in an attempt to be warm (although you probably don't need to know that)... You may, however- be interested to know that I have exceedingly cold toes (reason unknown. I just do).

Anyway, I'm not here to tell you how cold my toes are (although, that is a subject I cold easily write about at length). No no, I am here to bring to you the remaining highlights of the life of Mildred (AKA me), so far.

So, we come to July:

In short, I got a haircut, had a cold and attempted (very poorly) to write my life story. Although, looking back at these blogs, I can tell you that though these events may seem mundane and trivial, they were in actual fact life defining moments- particularly the haircut (By jove, I've done it: I've only gone and become a fully fledged adult this morning!), as I realised that I'd left the childhood me behind and become a grown-up.

Likewise, I managed to catch a cold at a very crucial moment (My body has waged war on me when I need it most). Looking back, it's quite amusing how dramatic a simple thing can be made. I drew this blog to a close with: 'Let battle be won through mentholated madness, soup, hot honey and lemon  and regular nasal dousing. I will not succumb to the battlefield, nor will I succumb to snoozing drowsily in bed with a hot water bottle. I will fight this cold valiantly until the end. But first, I think I might indulge in a nice hot bubbly bath... As of 12 hundred hours today, Mildred v MB (Mildred's Body) has begun. May the best Mildred win.'

August:

Loads of stuff happened in August- too much to write about! But the basics: well, Dave and I went to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival- an international theatre festival situated in... Edinburgh. We met some wonderful people and I debuted my play that I had written (loosely based on my life) called Mildred McManus for World Minister. It was an interesting month where I learnt four important things:
1). It rains in Scotland. A lot.
2). My raincoat was not waterproof.
3). My shoes were not waterproof. But...
4). ...my mascara was waterproof.

My top three August blogs are (in no particular order):
1). People, flyers and the categories they fall into
2). My final show in Edinburgh
3). I welcome some new friends into my life: lovely wellington boots

September:

Basically, I visited Bulgaria with some friends. Whilst there, I read the autobiography of Julie Andrews (AKA Mary Poppins) and decided that when I returned to England, I would need to watch several Julie Andrews related films... which I did and very much enjoyed. Oh, I also became a part-time decorating-builder.

January 2012:


Ah, January... Such fond memories. This was the month when I was introduced to Mission Impossible and had my first palm-sweating-I-can't-believe-this! cinema moment (My first palm-sweating cinematic experience). I also made a public appeal for new members to join the Day Dreamer's Association (WANTED: New members to join the Day-Dreamer's Association ), became engaged (and then unengaged) to Dave (The tale of the engagement that never was, one woman's lifetime ban in the kitchen and goodness only knows what else...) and lost a sock (The curious incident of the missing sock), although I'm sure you'll be relieved to know that said sock turned up... eventually.

As I draw this- my 50th blog (part 2) to a close, I would like to dedicate it to two lovely ladies that I met recently. I don't often do this sort of thing, but I would like to today.

So- as a thank you for your presence on Saturday and Sunday, I dedicate this blog to Shirley and Lynne (who know who they are).

Mildred x

January's whizzing past, but are my new years resolutions doing the same?

Did you make any new years resolutions? I did. Foolishly you might say; I made five.

If you resolved to do certain things in this new year, have you managed to do what you said? I have... sort of. I seem to have a few grey areas though. The kind of  'have I, haven't I?' kept them resolutions.

On Tuesday 3rd January 2012, I wrote a blog and bravely shared my New Years Resolutions in the hope that the public sharing would be an incentive to keep at them. I declared that I would:

1. Write my blog at least twice a week.
2. Learn something new every day.
3. Make other people around me happy.
4. Never eat stuffing again, after experiencing a stuffing overload at Christmas.
5. Floss every single day.

I suppose, more-or-less, I have managed to keep my resolutions fairly well. I mean, I have been writing at least twice a week and- most importantly, very much enjoying it. Likewise, I have not touched a piece of stuffing, let alone eaten any. Really, I have been put off for life... or several months at least. 

But aside from icky stuffing and writing, I have indeed been flossing every day! (You know, flossing: the string between your teeth... put like that, it doesn't sound quite so nice). But, that is what I have been doing and friends- my teeth are looking mighty fine!

So, I can tick resolution's 1., 4. and 5. off my list. 

Number 2. and number 3. are a bit trickier to cross off. The trouble is, they're rather subjective. I mean, how do I know if I'm making people around me happy? More to the point, how do I know if I've learnt something new every day? These two resolutions don't have clear boundaries: they're not black and white or yes I have/ no I haven't. I think- looking back, they're actually rather silly. 

You see, the trouble about learning something new every day is whether you can remember what it is that you've learnt. I've been thinking- while I've been writing this, trying to remember what it is that I've learnt... but I can't remember anything. And that, dear friends- is not good. But does this mean that I am not keeping this resolution? Or do I simply have an appalling memory? I just don't know any more. The boundary between learning and forgetfulness is becoming increasingly blurred.

In the meantime, I think I might start taking up brain exercises- sudoku and the like. What's the worse that can happen? Six months later I realise that yes indeed, my memory is shockingly abysmally poor? Or, all of a sudden I become a bit of a human computer spouting a hundred facts a day? Maybe I'll take the bad memory after all. 

To all of you who have read this, I wish you a wonderful week ahead and hope that I have completed resolution number three: put a smile onto your face. 

Mx

January's grand-daughterly duties fulfilled...

Hello to all you wonderful people out there,

Today I am going to share with you, news of my most recent outing- trust me, it's a good'un! It features me- Mildred, Dave- the boyfriend, Gma (AKA Grandma) and Gma's friend Betty. Funnily enough, it almost didn't feature Betty as she was actually Gma's second choice companion for the evening. Her first choice was actually (somewhat unbelievably), a fellow woman of the Mildred variety, but unfortunately Mildred Senior had to pull out at the last moment due to reason's I'd best not divulge... though I am thankful as that made writing this much easier. 

Anyway, this year Dave and I decided to treat Gma and a plus one to a night out. After much deliberation we decided that this would make the best Christmas present as it fulfilled all of Gma's (fairly restrictive) criteria: NO chocolates or sweets; NO make-up, toiletries or perfume; NO food-substances; NO books; NO ornaments and clutter and definitely- under NO circumstances- gift vouchers.

Working within those rather specific guidelines, we opted for a trip to the theatre to see a show called "The Life and Time's of the Immortal Time-Traveller" (who's name I have forgotten, as every time he travelled through time he acquired a new name. I think his last name was Simon... yes, that sounds familiar... so let's say it was definitely Simon to avoid any confusion).

We arrived at the theatre in good time, which was just as well as Dave and I had booked tickets for the balcony. The ascent of the 105 stairs took some time as both Gma and Betty are part of the HR club (Hip Replacement club), but they soldiered on until they had both conquered their Everest and were seated comfortably. At this point, Dave and I were falling behind, what with the stress of making sure that Gma and Betty remained vertical and- at no point on our watch- horizontal. It was only when we reached the top that we realised that there was actually a lift (but at no point did we mention this to Gma and Betty)...

During the interval, Dave and I decided to splash out on the over-priced baby-pot sized tubs of ice cream. I say splash out, but what I really mean is, treat Gma and Betty to one each, because at £3 they were a little steep for us. Not that long ago Dave and I were both students, and I can tell you- once a student, always a student. Frugalness is a very tricky trait to shift; believe me I've tried. But as Gma and Betty are both part of that other club- you know- the big one: the OAP group, we decided to treat them. Both of them opted for 'Rum and Raisin', though I'm not sure that that was one of their finer decisions as it seemed to both Dave and myself that those tubs had been lost to the depths of the freezer for some time and consisted of mostly- well, rum. They certainly seemed a lot chirpier after those!

Just before the second half, we bought a pair of binoculars. Then, I did something I haven't done in quite some time: I indulged in a youthful past-time of mine (although it wasn't quite the same without my old friend Dee-Dee to share the sightings with). I did a spot of people-watching.

There's nothing quite like it! Watching people graze on their miniature ice-creams with the silly plastic spoon's; watching people talking animatedly; watching the rich people in the private boxes watching everyone else; watching people be people and do people things like, attempting to have a rummage in the nasal area when they think that no-one is looking... but they didn't count on Mildred (minus a Dee-Dee), did they? No sirree. People watching is basically, Big Brother... only live. Great fun! Until it gets a bit boring.

As I was people-watching, Dave was Mildred-watching and suggested that I should become a spy. I was so excited at this, I almost flew off the balcony but luckily- Dave is a good boyfriend and rescued me from my (almost) impending flight. I turned to him and I said: "The name's McManus- Mildred McManus. Double oh seventeen at your service." Immediately Dave changed his mind: apparently I'd make a rubbish spy after all.

The rest of the show passed without event and ended with rapturous applause- with the main source of the volume emanating from Gma and Betty in a rum-fuelled-clapping-appreciatively-frenzy. Know how I know that? Because their feet started clapping on the floor, as well as their hands AND, Gma and Betty started 'wooping' and 'bravo-ing'. Dave and I on the other hand were a little more sedate in our applause. If only we'd had some rum...

Eventually we got Gma and Betty to their respective home's in one piece, but only after a little bit of drama our end. We almost missed the last train, but luckily we had a taxi driver who didn't know what red lights on the traffic lights were and cruised on by them. I felt like I was in a high-speed pursuit! I think Dave did too as he was sat 'up-front' whilst I was sandwiched between our ladies in the back seat. But the most important line I'm missing out is Dave's.

He hurried to the taxi driver and knocked on his window. It opened a creek and Dave asked him: "'Excuse me mate, what are the chances of making the quarter to?" The taxi driver looked at the clock on the dash: it read 22:34. Then he looked at our older passengers- not realising that they were rum-fuelled and therefore very sprightly, before turning back to Dave; "They're not good, but I can try."

And try he did as we made the train and we all lived happily ever after. No, wait... that's a different story!

But until next time, 

THE END.

Mx  

The tale of the engagement that never was, one woman's lifetime ban in the kitchen and goodness only knows what else...

Hello once again dear friends!

Are you sitting comfortably? You see, I have much to tell you. Try as I might not to ramble, I can’t omit too much from what I need to tell you without leaving out the story, otherwise my blog would read:

Hello once again dear friends!

…..

The end.

I think you’ll all agree, that doesn’t make for interesting reading in the slightest. So, it is with that, that I have concluded that a little bit of waffle receives the thumbs up.

Having established that, I shall now begin.

In this blog I’m going to bring you up to speed with my life as it stands at the moment (or rather, as it sits at the moment as I am currently sat writing to you, not stood up). Since I last wrote to you (not including yesterday), the following has happened:

·        I have finished my stint as a builder with- thank goodness, all ten fingers and toes still in situ.

·        I have taken up employment at my brother Scott’s garage temporarily until they can find a suitable candidate to fill the void vacancy. Their last receptionist abandoned the car trade in favour of sunnier climes: the lorry world. So I was brought in at the last minute, having earned my wings or stripes (or whatever it is that you earn) as a consequence of driving to Scotland and back in a Ford Ka. Apparently, that’s a right-of-passage into the car world, which I thought was rather cool- because, I’ll be honest- I have never once been described as cool… until now! Although, that could just have been Scott making things up… Hey-ho: I’m cool!

·        I have recently started dating my best friend Dave (who I’ve known for what feels like a zillion years). I am very happy. This follows on from our great Scottish adventure. He wrote me a poem you see. Some people might describe it as romantic, others less so. It’s quite sweet, so I’ll stick it at the end of my blog for you to read (in case you’re interested that is).

·        I have recently been engaged to Dave for all of ten minutes, courtesy of Scott. Thank you brother dearest (note the sarcasm if you’re reading, Scott!).

      We were attending Mum and Dad’s annual Christmas Jumper Party, when this startling revelation was made. Dave was talking with Grandma- or rather, Dave was listening to Grandma talking- as so often is the case. Meanwhile, I was chatting with Scott and the other guys from the garage- Harry, Lance and Louis when Scott unexpectedly announced that they were looking forward to hearing news of mine and Dave’s engagement. I was totally baffled and asked him how much beer he’d consumed.

      Ignoring me, he says: “come on Mils, everyone knows that Dave’s going to pop the question on Christmas day. It’s just so obvious. I mean, like I’ve just said- everyone knows.” I looked at him and the guys then slowly raised just one eyebrow. “Who’s everyone?” I asked, to which he replied: “oh, you know… me” [sip of drink] “the lads” [slightly larger sip of drink] “mother” [finished drink off]. I smiled serenely and walked over to Mum who was chatting with Julia (my godmother) and proceeded to explain that there would be no wedding as there was no engagement.

      Momentarily, Mum acted as though I were talking gibberish before casting a scathing look at Scott. “What?!” he said, “I couldn’t help it Mum- I’m just so excited my baby sister’s getting married!” At this, various stander-abouter’s start to congratulate me and Dave- with the exception of Dad. Dad takes poor bewildered Dave aside and asks why he hadn’t asked my father’s permission to marry me, considering he’d asked my father’s permission to help cook Christmas dinner. Before Dave could explain, Dad started going on about priorities and stuff- all the while, I’m being congratulated at being ‘off the shelf at last’…

      Eventually, Scott had to stand on a chair and announce that our engagement was a non-engagement. This meant that the congratulations quickly turned to commiserations from everyone except Grandma. This- dear friends, is how rumours start!

·        I have- since Christmas, acquired a major aversion to stuffing. No other food- just stuffing. I can no longer eat it.

·        I have not had my lifetime ban in the kitchen lifted this year. Dad kindly explained that: “it’s called a lifetime ban Mildred, because it lasts for life.” I asked him if he and the jury (better known as Mum and Dad) would reconsider. I received a very short answer: “no.” Honestly, you make one mistake and everyone forever holds it against you.

     

      Did I mean to set the turkey on fire? No.

      

      Did I intend for what became a ‘turkey-fireball’ to fall out of its tray and burn a hole into the kitchen lino? No.

      Did I apologise? Yes, profusely… though I don’t think it was accepted as I began my apology with the classic ‘it’s not fault, but…’ opener. That- ladies and gentlemen, was six years ago now and the jury just will not relent and reconsider my punishment, but at least they can laugh about it now. It’s a story that has gone down as McManus folklore and will one day become the stuff of legends (at least the way I tell it will).    

·         I spent New Year’s Eve with a bunch of strangers- three of which trod on my foot and one managed to wallop my shoulder with a bit of flamboyant dancing. Of course, aside from the strangers that made up 99% of the venue, I celebrated the start of 2012 with four renditions of Auld Lang’s Syne (honestly DJ, what went wrong?), with the boyfriend Dave, his brother Chris and Chris’s girlfriend Stephanie. All in all, jolly good fun.

      So, this takes us right up until the present moment where I am currently attempting to stick to my New Year's resolutions. I look forward to catching up with you this year and leave you today with my charming poem from Dave:

Dave’s poem for Mildred

Oh Mildred, Mildred, where is my Mildred? I miss her, my bright purple lid. Neither one of us are any longer a kid, which is just as well as we’re not baby goats.

Oh Mildred, Mildred, where is my Mildred? Ever since I saw you in August in your wet-weather gear, I was as smitten as a kitten. So won’t you let me be your Dave?

Oh Mildred, Mildred, where is my Mildred? Say yes to a date or three, as I’d really like to take you for tea. In the words of Mark Darcy to Bridget, ‘I like you just as you are.’

Mildred, I like you just as you are, however near or far. You’re my best friend, but for now I’ve reached the end. I’ll be your 'Davdred' to your 'Mildred', so let’s write our own story from the beginning.

The end (for real this time).

Until next time,

Mildred x 

Coming soon... The new and improved Mildred!

Dearest Friends and Relatives (perhaps that should be the other way round, but I think it sounds better that way... sorry Mum, Dad, brothers...),

My apologies to you all for my absence, but Mildred McManus is back in business- I am new and improved and back for your delectability!

Before I do or say anything, I have to wish you all a very happy, healthy and prosperous New Year. I hope that Christmas was wonderfully Christmassy and that you all had a stonkingly super time.

Tomorrow, I will explain all that has happened since I last wrote (but I'll try to keep it brief to prevent an essay like situation from arising!). I will admit, I do have a tendency to waffle.. a habit I am afraid to say I inherited from my mother, but please don't tell her I told you... shhh!

For now though, I am going to pop off, but I assure you I shall be returning with a vengeance very shortly! But before I go, I would like to share my New Year's resolutions with you in the hope that the sharing will be an incentive to ensure I follow them through:

1. To write my blog at least twice a week.
2. To learn something new every day.
3. To make other people around me happy.
4. To never eat stuffing again after experiencing Christmas-sage-and-onion-stuffing-overload. Never again...
5. Lastly... to floss every day in the hope that I won't need any fillings this year.

So, for now I'm going to love you and leave you.

Mildred x

PS I have a theory about this new year. Given that we seem to be experiencing rather miserable weather, I think that contrary to popular opinion, that that is a good sign. Surely, things can only ever get better? Surely D:Ream of Things Can Only Get Better 1994 fame were onto something when they made this prediction? I think they were and wish you all a happy 2012.