The Mystery of the Black Eye

This is a blog, born of the most unusual ailment I have ever experienced. That's right friends: this blog is about the mystery of my black eye.

It's a funny old thing really, as I have no idea how I managed to obtain said darkened eye. The only conclusion I can reach is... that I prodded myself in the eye... in my sleep. I really truly have no recognition of it what-so-ever. All I know is that last Saturday I went to bed with two regular looking eyes. The next morning, I awoke with a black eye. Total mystery!

What is also a total mystery to me is why a black eye is called a black eye. Why is it not called a purple one? I mean, mine was purple... not black. Luckily I could disguise this behind some eyeshadow as it was limited to the inside corner of my right eye. If anything, this purplisation served to make my eyes even greener. Perhaps I should branch out and invest in some purple eyeshadow? This could be the start of the new and radically improved me!

As I write this, I am consulting my eye and am pleased to report that my purple eye has at long last begun to fade. Each and every morning, I felt like I was viewing my face from a different perspective. Every morning, I asked myself the same question: was my purple eye still there? Disappointingly, yes it was. I sought approval from Dave for my new ailment. Did I still look like his girlfriend; his Mildred? He smiled at me and said that even if I had two black eyes I'd still be beautiful to him and that I'll always be his Mildred. Ahhh, nice. He is a good boyfriend- thank you Dave.

This is the most peculiar thing I have had the chance to witness. It is unexplainable- like aliens... but now I've just said that, I hope there is no connection between me and U.F.O's...Most bizarre of all, is that this has not caused me any pain. When I've been testing it (well, basically prodding to see what my pain threshold is), I've been pleasantly surprised to find that either I'm really brave and able to tolerate high levels of eye poking or- and this is far more probable, it was a surface purpling that caused me no pain.

Anyhoo, hopefully I'll be back to normal in just a few days' time. In the meantime, my green and purple right eye, my regular green eye and the rest of me bid you farewell.

Mildred x