How to become a part of Scottish folklore (and other musings)

As I write this, I am smiling (despite the fact that my shoes have flooded and my toes now resemble prunes). Following yesterday's tweakings, I gave the best performance of all my Edinburgh performances so far.

I'll tell you why it was the best (in my opinion). It was the best, because I had fun. I stopped thinking and worrying about all the things outside of my control (like the weather, the technical side of things and the audience numbers). I put my positive thinking hat on and I spoke from the heart. I stopped thinking and I just was.

I stood on that stage and I lived the events of my play- of my life, as if they were happening again. And every second I was beneath the bright dazzling lights that make you sweat involuntary amounts profusely, I believed in what I was saying and I savoured every moment.

Yes, it may have helped matters that at the start of the show I greeted the audience and then encouraged them to laugh, clap, whoop, sneeze or make any other involuntary (or voluntary) noises that they should so desire, as I think that this put them at ease.

And yes, I know that it's my life they're laughing/ sneezing/ whooping at, but I'm prepared to make that sacrifice in the interests of making the world a better place. See what I did there? My potential job is that of World Minister and I think I've just proved I'm a highly eligible candidate, don't you?

Anyway, back to yesterday. After some major clock-watching, I indulged in my (un)-favourite past time... that of flyering. By now, I am sure that most of you already know I am frightfully bad at this task. Unfortunately, I cannot give you any new information to counter this fact (though I would- obviously, very much like to). Before long, I suspect that my appalling flyering skills will become the stuff of Edinburgh folklore.

Yes, we have a very old castle. Yes, we have a royal road that appeases any male royals globally; that's right, I mean Prince's Street. And yes, we have a regular stretch of road ( a long hill in actual fact, that Mildred has to walk up on a daily basis...) that we have tried to make sound superior to the rest of it's cobbled peers by naming it The Royal Mile. But have you heard about our most recent acquisition? A young lady that goes by the name of Mildred. She can be seen  attempting to flyer our regal streets, brandishing images of herself sat on top of the world. See her at 3pm daily, before we revisit the canon shed at the castle.

I hazard a guess, that before long, I will be on a par with the above.

Now, the final question is: have I learnt anything new since yesterday? The answer is yes. I have learnt that:

• rucksacks may well be coming back into fashion as they are practical, cool and retro. (Or at least that's what I tell myself, every time I slip into my black and silver number).
• it is always sensible to Febreze* your stage costume and then leave it to air.
• it is not sensible to Febreze your stage costume and then immediately roll it up and pack it into your rucksack. This is because, when you come to wear it later in the evening, you will feel as though you have been for a very long run before your show has already started. Chilly underarms do nothing to help the pre-stage nerves, I can tell you.

Anyhoo, I hope that you are all well.

Best wishes,
Mildred

* For those of you unfamiliar with Febreze, it is basically an air freshener for clothes in a squirty bottle. It is a cheats option to washing your clothes in the washing machine. Whilst in the city, I must cheat as I do not have a washing machine.